Whatever social standing parents belong to, it isn’t easy to raise a kid. There are many things you can do right, but at least as many things can go wrong. To me it seems unbelievable that there are still no schools or at least courses for soon-to-be parents. There is simply too much to know and too much at stakes to leave this unregarded. In the first twelve years of a kid decisions will be made that will shape this emerging personality for their entire life.
In this time, the kid is completely at its parents mercy, reliant upon their love and care.
We are often shocked when we hear horror stories in the news, where kids have been locked up by their carers for years, or the like. Though of course this is terrible, we should be aware this kind of abuse is only the tip of the iceberg. There are many families where abuse is used in subtle, inconspicuous but not less threatening ways – in many cases, not even consciously.
Why is that the case? Are these parents simply evil? Well, it’s not exactly as easy as that. The problem lies somewhere deeper. Already the parents of these parents play a role and therefore also their grandparents played a part. The whole thing is stretched across generations. Only the current, fresh generation of parents can resolve this, break the cycle and heal the wounds which might have been inflicted over and over again. If they accept their inner child and are ready to refine themselves, only then there is some kind of guarantee they are able to selflessly raise a child.
Some belief systems dictate which education one should aim for or which religion one should take part in. Many parents aren’t aware how toxic their expectations are for the young souls of their kids.
This is the desperate try to compensate their own childhood shortcomings through their offspring. It is bound to lead to disappointment on both sides.
Children should have the freedom to shape their own life. Parents are only needed to provide and assist and should not interfere with the will of their children as long as they don’t put themselves in danger.
Nothing speaks against giving your opinion and offer advice. If you are a caregiver it is crucial that you don’t force your view upon the minor. It’s important to leave the kid with the option to decide for itself without it being afraid about withdrawal of love as a punishment if they don’t comply.
The threat or realisation of the withdrawal of love is a punishment so severe for a kid, that it can be traumatizing. Where would they go if their parents disdain them? This is no option for a kid and the most common solution is to comply. To be nice outside. Bury their true feelings and wishes inside, because they aren’t accepted outside. This will create a predetermined breaking point in a person that either cracks open dramatically later in life or otherwise makes them play a role that doesn’t fit them for their entire lives.
You don’t choose in which family you are born into.
Everyone should have the right to have parents that know how to raise a child.
School alone is not enough to replace the nurturing that parents owe their children. This is why I am proposing that every parent-to-be should have access to a training program in which they are prepared for their future as a family.
For a fair childhood with meaningful social interactions, that every human being deserves to look forward and back to.